As I stood next to my dad’s hospital bed holding his hand, I looked down at our hands together. It had been along time since we had held hands. In fact I think it had been since I was a child. Suddenly waves of memories flooded my mind, I saw my hand as a child in his, thinking how much bigger and stronger his hand was compared to mine. His skin was so much rougher than my young smooth skin. I thought of all the fishing trips he took me on and the projects he provided for my brother and me. A life time of memories flashed before my eyes as I stared at our hands together. I pondered how very serious his condition of congestive heart failure was. This could be the last time I held my fathers hand. My heart started to ache for the relationship I knew we could have had but now it was too late. How I wanted to turn back time and try again. It wasn’t that he was a bad dad, no not at all. He was a good dad in so many ways. He tried so hard to do what he thought was the right things. He provided so much for us but in all the effort he seemed to miss key things here and there. Those keys things were enough to create great voids later. After many years those voids finally caved in and our family was devastated by divorce. Two young men 14 and 16 now had no father in the picture. Unharnessed bitterness and confusion ripped the remaining family apart, including the two brothers. This set the course for the next 25 years. Now I stood at his bed side thinking of how it didn’t seem that long ago. Unable to communicate with him I decided to leave and thought this could be the last time I see my dad.
As I drove away from the hospital I heard the sweet quiet voice of my 14 year old daughter who accompanied me on this long 2 and a half hour trip. Her voice broke the silence with “I love you Daddy,,,,,,,,, I don’t like it when you cry”.
I decided before we left the area we should stop for a bite to eat. As we walked from the car I couldn’t get the vivid memory of holding my dad’s hand out of my mind and how I had lost so much time with him. Then it hit me, my daughter and I were walking right next to each other and I wasn’t even holding her hand. I grabbed her hand and held on to it as if I wanted to etch this memory into her mind forever. Then I thought, I’m going to hold her hand so much that from now on she won’t remember one specific time of holding my hand but she will remember her daddy’s hands and how they felt. How strong they were and how those hands were always there to hold hers every chance there was. How those hands were so rough and solid. So much potential strength in them but always seemed to be harnessed into a loving caress.
Fathering is not something that we men automatically know. This is the first time I have ever been a father to a 14 year old girl, a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old boy. You would think that the successful skills of fathering would be passed down from generation to generation but they’re not. A lot of mistakes are made, a lot of hearts are broken. Pride gets in the way of humbleness. Selfishness over powers selflessness. Fighting for our life gets in the way of laying down our life for others.
The day that I wrote this I had received a phone call at 6:30 AM. My father had passed away. I did get to see him again in that same hospital bed. He was able to listen and nod his head but not say anything. My brother and I both told our father how much we loved him and how thankful we were for all those good years of growing up. I was blessed with the opportunity to rub my daddy’s feet to comfort him as I watched my brother hold his hand.
Ephesians 5:24 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
A note to Husbands and Fathers:
A husband and father should be a high strong pillar in the home. Smooth to the touch so as not to get hurt when you brush up against it. Unmovable from where it stands but confident and sure that where it stands is on a solid foundation of righteousness and integrity. Built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. When strong wind blows it doesn’t sway. When even the ground below shakes, it remains firm and balanced. A wife and children should be able to run to it for protection and always find it right where it promises to be. The surety of the pillar never changing. They have confidence in it. They have no fear of it ever swaying or crumbling. For when a pillar crumbles or falls it crushes anyone near it. Just take a look at the average American family today.
If we as husbands and fathers would follow God’s instructions in the bible our families would be so much stronger and happier. Think about it. If we would die to our selfish desires and put our family first, the members would naturally follow. Ironic but true. Try it and see.
Brad Wilson
Wilson Family Ministries
1/16/2008
As I drove away from the hospital I heard the sweet quiet voice of my 14 year old daughter who accompanied me on this long 2 and a half hour trip. Her voice broke the silence with “I love you Daddy,,,,,,,,, I don’t like it when you cry”.
I decided before we left the area we should stop for a bite to eat. As we walked from the car I couldn’t get the vivid memory of holding my dad’s hand out of my mind and how I had lost so much time with him. Then it hit me, my daughter and I were walking right next to each other and I wasn’t even holding her hand. I grabbed her hand and held on to it as if I wanted to etch this memory into her mind forever. Then I thought, I’m going to hold her hand so much that from now on she won’t remember one specific time of holding my hand but she will remember her daddy’s hands and how they felt. How strong they were and how those hands were always there to hold hers every chance there was. How those hands were so rough and solid. So much potential strength in them but always seemed to be harnessed into a loving caress.
Fathering is not something that we men automatically know. This is the first time I have ever been a father to a 14 year old girl, a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old boy. You would think that the successful skills of fathering would be passed down from generation to generation but they’re not. A lot of mistakes are made, a lot of hearts are broken. Pride gets in the way of humbleness. Selfishness over powers selflessness. Fighting for our life gets in the way of laying down our life for others.
The day that I wrote this I had received a phone call at 6:30 AM. My father had passed away. I did get to see him again in that same hospital bed. He was able to listen and nod his head but not say anything. My brother and I both told our father how much we loved him and how thankful we were for all those good years of growing up. I was blessed with the opportunity to rub my daddy’s feet to comfort him as I watched my brother hold his hand.
Ephesians 5:24 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
A note to Husbands and Fathers:
A husband and father should be a high strong pillar in the home. Smooth to the touch so as not to get hurt when you brush up against it. Unmovable from where it stands but confident and sure that where it stands is on a solid foundation of righteousness and integrity. Built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. When strong wind blows it doesn’t sway. When even the ground below shakes, it remains firm and balanced. A wife and children should be able to run to it for protection and always find it right where it promises to be. The surety of the pillar never changing. They have confidence in it. They have no fear of it ever swaying or crumbling. For when a pillar crumbles or falls it crushes anyone near it. Just take a look at the average American family today.
If we as husbands and fathers would follow God’s instructions in the bible our families would be so much stronger and happier. Think about it. If we would die to our selfish desires and put our family first, the members would naturally follow. Ironic but true. Try it and see.
Brad Wilson
Wilson Family Ministries
1/16/2008
1 comment:
Daddy you made me cry. I love you!!!
Love your daughter,
Brooke
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